My testimony

This is my story of becoming a child of God.

I must admit I am nervous to write this story.

And even more nervous to share my story.

I’d like to leave out major parts of this story.

But God has clearly put it on my heart to write it.

And to share it.

That’s a true honor and a blessing.

So here it is.

I’m not proud of how I came to know God. But I am grateful and I’m thinking maybe there are other people who came to God in ways that they are not proud of. It shows God’s love and compassion. His mercy and forgiveness. His faithfulness and grace. God keeps His promises. God’s Word is fully true.

It’s God’s goodness.

Sharing God’s goodness.

That is what my blog is about. So I pray I will do that in sharing my story of God’s goodness.

I was living in darkness and sin and God had me meet someone at a critical point in my life. I was just graduating from college, and my plan for my life was just getting started. She asked me if I had a relationship with God. I told her I believe in God yes. She asked me if I’d like to come to church with her. I said sure. God had a plan.

And WOW! I was completely overcome by emotions and feelings at the church service. I loved it. I felt so welcomed. It was amazing. The sermon just spoke to my heart. God was drawing me in.

She asked if I’d like to come to a home bible study that she did with her friends. I said sure. And WOW! I was completely overcome by emotions and feelings at that bible study. I felt so welcomed. It was amazing. Being with other people struggling just felt good in my heart. God was working.

I started going to get together’s in this group and hanging out with them. I couldn’t believe how good it felt to be around them, they just had so much hope. They stood out to me as having something very special. And they were not judgmental of me in any way. God was showing me the life of a believer, fellowship, and community.

One night after we had all gotten together, my friend and I were talking alone and she asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus as my personal Savior. I was very surprised in the moment. I had no plans of doing that that night. But I believe God put it in my heart to do it. Part of me wanted to do it. I was learning about God and was fascinated by all I was experiencing about God. But there was still part of me that wasn’t fully sure it would be real. There was still part of me that hesitated. I was not fully sure.

She asked me if I wanted to pray a prayer of salvation together and become saved. She told me everything it meant to be saved. The Gospel message. It was very clear. Part of me wanted to and part of me still didn’t believe it would “work” for me. I thought “there’s no way God could forgive and accept me after all the sin in my life”. But I went ahead and did it. I prayed God would forgive me through Jesus paying for my sins and save me.

In the moment, I wondered if I had done it “correctly”. Did I really believe it fully? Honestly, I didn’t feel I did. But I really had no idea what I was supposed to feel. I do know part of me wanted to believe it. I wanted to be rescued. I knew I needed to be rescued.

And I was rescued. 

God took my prayer as belief and He saved me.

I became his child forever in the moment of that prayer.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

{NOTE: this is a crucial and defining part in my story. I did not truly realize that I became a believer on this date until somewhat recently…the last few years. God revealed it to me. I put it in here because that is what actually happened back then. I was saved that night. But I did not fully understand that at the time.  And I will get to that as I share more of my story}

After that, my friend offered for us to get together so I could start to learn more about God and she could help me through it. Honestly, I was blown away by the thoughtfulness of her offer. That she would want to take the time to help me. Today I realize that was her wanting to disciple me. And she did…for a very short while.

It wasn’t long before life took over and I started to want my own plans. My own ideas. My own priorities. My own way of doing things. My old way of doing things.

As I’ve said in my entires. Me. Me. Me. I love to follow Me.

So that is what I did.

I walked away from God…

I’m crying as I write this because I know where my path led to.

Destruction.

Disaster.

Darkness.

That is true tragedy.

That is sorrow.

That is grieving.

That is what happened.

I wanted my way.

And God let me have it.

I went back living my life my way.

Suffering.

Sadness.

Sin.

Rebellion.

That’s what I chose and that’s what I got.

And I decided I would keep it.

And I did.

For about 20 years…

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So there it is.

My testimony Part One

Follow God and Write from your Heart,

Kendra